“In front of my neighbors, many of whom had come out of their houses to see what was happening, several strong men wrestled me to the ground strapped me onto a gurney, and loaded me into a waiting ambulance. I cried out for help, but no one responded. All I could do was move my head, and it was hard to see through my confusion and the pulsing colored lights. But off to the side I thought I saw my husband talking to several people. It looked like him, but Michael wouldn’t just let this happen to me, would he?
“Were my college friend and my doctor in the crowd milling about on the lawn? I remember calling out, pleading for assistance, but no one responded. Where was my 2 month old son? I had tried to protect him as I was assaulted, but now I couldn’t see him anywhere. What had they done with him? Why was this happening?”
I settled into the passenger seat of my Honda Pilot as my husband and I prepared for a 2 hour trip to Tuscon, AZ. I had this book for a couple of months sitting in my “go to” bag. This was a bag I kept in the car for long car rides. I was anxious to begin reading Jennifer Moyer’s book – A Mother’s Climb out of darkness. The subject matter was dark and I assumed very depressing. As much as I knew the book needed to be read, I will admit that I kept avoiding doing so. I waited until we drove away from suburbia and got onto the open road before I opened the book.
As I began reading Chapter One, I quickly realized I was right… and wrong. When I began reading the first chapter and the words in the above quote, I knew this was going to be depressing. A mother assaulted? A baby being taken away from its mother? My husband Alan and I were going to be spending a fun and carefree day in Tuscon. Did I really want these images sitting in the forefront of my brain? Not really. However, Jennifer was going to be a guest on my All About Breastfeeding podcast. Interviews are much more productive and meaningful when I have actually read the authors book.
As I learned about her first hospitalization, any fears of getting depressed quickly vanished. Jennifer writes so beautifully and had me hooked by the end of the first chapter. In this heartfelt memoir, Jennifer takes us along on her personal journey through diagnosis to recovery. Along the road to recovery, she experiences setbacks. I can only imagine how hard this illness is on a marriage. I can only imagine how having a mom with postpartum psychosis affects the child. This book is for every person who is going to be a parent, is a parent or works with parents. It is a must read for healthcare providers who will come in contact with pregnant, and postpartum mother’s and their families. When Jennifer wrote that the paramedics and hospital staff thought that she had taken illicit drugs because they did not know any different, well this just broke my heart. Not knowing what they were really dealing with had a negative impact on how she was initially treated. Thanks Jennifer for writing this book, making us all aware so that no mother should have to go through this alone and in the dark.