New Parenthood and Sleep Deprivation

New Parenthood and Sleep Deprivation – I bet most pregnant parents have heard this a million times. Be sure you sleep when the baby sleeps. If this is a first baby for you and you have not been around newborns, you probably nod your head and say: “I will. we will”. and then you go on your merry way. I remember the first time I was told this. I was standing inside the elevator in my office building.

The door opened and in came this lady who was in her mid 60s. She said congratulations when she saw my belly and I said – thank you. She asked when I was due and I told her. She then said – Oh that’s nice. She then said: Good Luck honey!

I did not respond and then without skipping a beat. she said you better go home and sleep all night, until the urge to pee wakes you up. Go pee and then go right back to bed. I just smiled and said: okay. This was before I had my first baby and getting into a conversation with intimate details like this with a lady who was a stranger to me, well, at that point in my life, it was kind of odd.

I know. I know. I talk like that now on an every day basis, but that was before I had my first baby. Little did I know how that would change. Anyway, we talked for a few more minutes until she got off the elevator. She seemed to be intent on making sure I got enough sleep. now because goodness knows it will be years before I ever sleep in peace and uninterrupted quiet again.

It did not take long for me to figure out why this lady acted this way with me. She obviously knew a lot more than I did about new motherhood, newborns and sleep. I would meet other new moms in the park and when they asked how I was doing, I would say Fine. I asked them how their babies were sleeping and they usually said just fine. I found myself not asking this question or just lying to them when they asked how well my baby slept. It was just too emotionally difficult for me. I could not tell the truth.

My truth – I was blessed with one of those babies that they say – Oh she just never sleeps because she is so busy. She is like those babies that are so interested in the world around her that she doesn’t want to sleep and miss anything.

All I did was daydream about a cheap and easy solution to this problem. I could have rubbed whiskey on her gums like my Aunt use to do. I could have given some baby pain medicine like I heard some other desperate parents have done. While I did contemplate this from time to time, I just could not bring myself to do it. The fact that I even considered these as options gives you a little window into how desperate I was to get some solid sleep. I did become “that mom” and Alisha did become “that baby.” No sleep for either of us.

I am not sure what I was thinking during my pregnancy. I thought that if I had a good birth, no tearing, no medication that I would bounce back from birth quickly. Have you ever been so tired you felt drunk? Have you ever been so tired you were slurring your words or had trouble putting one foot in front of the other?  Have  you ever been so tired that you fell asleep  while standing up, talking on the phone or the second you sit down? That was me.

According to sleep expert and Harvard School Professor, Charles Czeisler
If a person averages about 4 hours of sleep per night, for 4-5 nights, her mental impairment is equal to that of someone who is legally drunk. Well, once I read that, I knew I wasn’t crazy.

It helps for new parents to learn from experts that their babies sleep will likely be quite unpredictable and they will often have their sleep uninterrupted. Parents of newborns need to hear this information many different times from many different people. Otherwise, it is easy for them to be in denial as they are often thinking “this is what happens to other people.” As if, other people are doing something right and they aren’t.

Listen to the complete show to find out more on this subject. I share my BEST TIPS to help cope with the early days of newborn parenting and sleepless nights.